Penny For Your Thoughts
by Annastesia LaFayette
Summary: Taken from "Unexpected". Trip spends some time on an alien ship helping to repair their engines. When he returns to Enterprise, he discovers he's PREGNANT? What's worse he must carry the baby to term and give birth! Archer is there for him, but we get a glimpse of what's really going through their minds about the situation AND each other. A/N: (sort of kind of romance.) *Language*
1. Chapter 1

**Penny For Your Thoughts**

**Chapter 1**

Trip was in his quarters still in shock and disbelief at what Phlox had told him. He flopped onto his bed and dropped to his back reeling in his thoughts._ Pregnant? How? How could I...? Men can't get pregnant! He's a quack! Pregnant? No impossible! A parasite? Yeah... that sounds more reasonable. A parasite. Pregnant? Oh fuck!_

His door chime rang and he frowned. He wasn't in the mood for company and hoped whoever it was would go away. The chime rang again. "Who is it?" His voice sounded sharper than he intended, but he really didn't care.

"Captain Archer. Can I come in?" Archer's voice come though the intercom. The corners of Trip's mouth slightly tugged. He wasn't in the mood for company...but Jon was a different thought.

"Yeah...come in." He sat up and waited for Jon to come in. He inwardly chuckled at Jon shifting around in the way that Trip knew he was uncomfortable. "What can I do for ya?"

Jon blew out a breath as he sat on the bed with Trip. "This is a very... unusual situation."

"Who you telln'?" Trip's mind raced back to his thoughts again_. Pregnant? How? Those weird rocks. She said it was a game. Why did she lie to me? Oh God! Did she...?_

Jon looked at Trip and could see the turmoil on his friend's face. "We'll find them. I'm sure they'll know what to do." He patted Trip's thigh to reassure him.

Trip looked at Jon's hand on his thigh._ Oh! That feels good. Huh? What? _He gulped hard. "Cap'n...I think...I think she..._raped_ me!"

"You stuck your hands in those rocks willingly."

"Yeah. But she said it was a game. She never said it was something _sexual_! And she sure as hell didn't say that _this_ could happen." He gestured to the left side of his ribcage where the embryo was now growing. "How the hell is this thing going to come out? I mean...we don't know about Xrillian males, but we sure as hell know that human males aren't designed to..._give birth!"_

"I'm sure Phlox will figure something out...if it comes down to that point. In the meantime, I'm pulling you from duty-"

"_What_!" Trip interrupted. "Cap'n, you can't. I don't need to be pulled from duty. Look, right now, it's just like I have a big bruise and a little sore. Don't pull me from duty. Please...Jon." Trip looked at him with pleading eyes.

Jon thought for a moment. "Ok, how about this. Restricted duty. Nothing too strenuous, no away missions, and you promise to take breaks and stay off your feet as much as you can."

"I'm not some kind of ceramic doll, I won't break."

"I'm thinking about that baby inside of you. Restricted duty or off duty. What will it be?"

"Restricted...I guess." Trip said with a displeased tone.

"Good. I'll have Phlox go over what you can and _can't_ do while you're in this...condition." He gave Trip another pat on his thigh before getting up to leave. "Let me know if you need anything." Jon called before the door closed behind him.

Once again alone, Trip muttered to himself. "I need you to put your hands on me some more. Where the hell did that just come from?" Deep in Trip's thoughts, he couldn't deny the fact that there were times he had been curious what it would be like with a man...with Jon, but quickly brushed those thoughts to the side. Why now were these thoughts so close to the front of his mind?

He laid back onto his bed and rubbed at the place on his side. "We'll find your people little one. Once we do, we'll get you out of me and this whole thing will be over."

XXX

Weeks turned into a month, then two months and no sign of the Xrillians. Trip's "bulge" was getting bigger and harder to hide under his loose fitting shirts. He took quite a few jabs from members of the crew over his condition, and even more jabs about the Captain doting over him. But once the jokes stopped, the gravity of the situation began to set in.

Phlox had completely pulled him from duty, no matter how hard he tried to protest, Phlox decided that the time had come for Trip to go on maternity leave. He was in his quarters trying to sleep when he bolted straight up in bed, screaming and sweat pouring down his face. A second later, his door chime rang. "Who is it?" He called breathlessly.

"It's me. Let me in."

Trip got up and unlocked the door to find Jon standing on the other side with wide eyes and looking very scared. "I was coming to see you and heard you screaming. Are you ok? What's wrong? Do you need Phlox?"

"No. I'm fine. Come in." He stepped to the side to give the Captain entrance.

Jon sat down on the bed but still looked a bit panicked. "What happened? Why were you screaming?"

Trip sat next to Jon. "I had a bad dream, that's all." He could see and feel Jon relax.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"It's kind of weird. I guess because it's been on my mind so much about how this...baby...will get out of me. You remember that old movie we watched once, where the alien burst out of that guy's stomach?"

"Aliens"

"Yeah...that's what I said. An alien came out of the guy's stomach."

Jon softly chuckled. "No Trip, the movie was called _Aliens_."

"Oh. Yeah. I knew that. Anyways, that's what the dream was about. This baby is gonna to rip itself out of my stomach and kill me in the process." Trip gave a shudder at the image. "Think I'm gonna delete that movie from my file."

Jon chuckled again. "Well, I'm glad the screaming wasn't anything too serious. Anything else that's troubling you?"

"My back is killing me." Trip blurted out before he had a chance to think.

Jon crinkled his brows. "Oh? The bulge is on your side, I wouldn't think it would be your back that hurts."

"I can't get comfortable enough to sleep right. I sleep on my side ya know. My left side to be exact, but with this bulge..."

"Ah. I see. Well...lay on your stomach and let's see if we can't do something about that."

"Huh?"

"Just lay down Trip. Trust me."

"Um...ok." Trip laid on his stomach not sure what to expect when he felt Jon's hands moving across his bare skin. His hands were warm, strong yet gentle as they massaged the aching muscles. He heard a slight pop of a vertebra and damn if it didn't feel good_. Damn his hands feel so good, I want those hands on every inch of me. What!? Shit Trip! These pregnancy hormones are really screwing with you. Oh shit! Did he just move his hands down further? Oh God please put those hands on my ass._

Jon was massaging the small of Trip's back as a couple more vertebrae popped. Without thinking, or realizing, Trip slightly lifted himself in the hopes it would cause Jon's hands to go down further. He felt a slight graze on the top of the swell of his rounded ass before Jon's hands started to move back upwards again towards his shoulders. "Trip, you're so tense. You need to relax."

Trip noticed how thick and hoarse Jon's voice sounded but brushed it off to his imagination. "I'm trying. I just can't stop thinking about how this baby is gonna get outta me. Not to mention that I can't walk three feet without someone asking if they can touch my bulge. Hell! Some don't even ask, they just touch it. Rude." Trip was suddenly aware of where one of Jon's hands was when he abruptly stopped his massaging. "You wanna touch it. Don't ya?"

"Um...yeah?" There was embarrassment in his voice. Here he was trying to touch the bulge while Trip was grumbling about being touched there.

Trip rolled onto his side to give Jon better access. "Go ahead."

"No Trip. That's ok. Obviously it bothers you too much."

"I don't mind if it's you that touches me. Go ahead."_ God! Did that just sounded so pathetic? Like I was begging for him to touch me? _Trip laid as Jon's hand gently rubbed at the bulge. He smiled looking at Jon's bright green eyes as they danced and delighted in the sight of a pregnant Trip._ He's gonna be a good daddy for our baby. What? Daddy? _OUR_ baby? Damnit Trip! Get a grip!_

Jon suddenly stopped rubbing at Trip's bulge. "I better get going. I got some reports to write and send to command before morning. Get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Cap'n? You don't have to leave."_ Shit! Stop your begging already!_

"I really need to get these reports done. If you have any more bad dreams...just call me." He hurried out the door before Trip could say any more.

In his quarters, Jon flopped down onto his bed and dropped to his back._ God Trip felt so great under my hands. His ass so beautiful, I just wanted to grab hold and never let go. Why did he want me to stay so bad? The bad dreams. That's why. I wanted to stay, if I stayed I might have... Oh shit Jon! He can't possibly think about you the same way. He did lift himself to me. Stop it! You're delusional! He just shifted to get comfortable, that's all. Damn he felt so good. Shit Jon! Get a grip!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It was middle of the night when the door chime rang. Jon sat up still half asleep as he pulled his boxers on. "Come in." His voice thick with sleep.

Trip came into the room and Jon's sleepiness left as if someone had just thrown a bucket of ice on him and was replaced by panic. "What's wrong? Do you need Phlox?" He leapt to his feet ready to rush Trip to sickbay.

"No. I'm fine. Well...not really. I keep having those dreams. Cap'n...I'm scared."

Before either men knew it, Trip had flung himself into Jon's arms, holding tight as he shook. Jon wrapped his arms around Trip, then reached up and ran his hand through Trip's blonde hair. "Shh. It's ok. I know. I'm scared too." His voice soft and comforting._ God he feels good in my arms. Stop it! He's just scared and needs a friend to comfort him._

Trip pulled back enough to look at Jon without breaking the embrace. Jon could see the frightened tears that he was holding back in his eyes. "You're scared? Why? It's not you that has to...ya know."

"I'm scared for you. Trip, we don't know what's going to happen. I...I don't want to lose you."_ There! I said it! I don't want to lose you. Oh God Trip, please understand what I feel for you. How important you are to me. I don't want to lose you!_

"I guess Phlox will cut me open to get this out of me, but the dreams..." He dropped his head back to Jon's shoulder._ Please understand that I need you now more than ever. I need your strength._

_Fuck! It's just the dreams. He still doesn't know or understand. God Trip! I want you so bad. I've wanted you for years, but you don't feel the same. Friends it is then. Better than not having you in my life at all. _"Do you want to stay with me tonight?"_ Please say yes._

_Oh God! He wants me to stay? Does he know what I've been thinking lately? Ok. Maybe it's just the hormones, but I have thought about it before this...maybe it's not all pregnancy hormones. Stop it! He only asked as a friend, nothing more. _"Yes." His voice was small, like a young child fearful of the monsters under his bed.

Jon slid under the covers with Trip, spooning him from behind. "Is it ok if I...touch it again?"_ Damn! You're in my bed! Do you know how many nights I've jerked off at this thought? Shit I want to fuck you so bad right now! What the hell? Stop it! He's your friend and he's...PREGNANT!_

"Yeah...you can touch it."_ You can touch any part of me that you want. God I want you! What the hell? Stop it! He's your friend! He just wants to comfort me...nothing else. Oh God those hands!_

Jon rubbed his hand along the bulge when he felt a movement. "What was that? Did it just...?"

"Yeah...that's the baby kicking." He felt Jon's smile against the back of his neck. The baby kicked again and he felt a breath against his skin that sent shivers down his spine and a tingle in his anal region and groin._ Oh God! Just your breath turns me on! I want to feel you on me...IN me. Please Jon! Fuck me! Make me scream your name! Make me scream Cap'n! Stop it! He doesn't think about you like that!_

_God! He's getting goosebumps. Oh damn I want to fuck you so bad! I want to be in your tight ass! I want to come so hard in you! I want to make you scream my name! Do you know how much it turns me on when you call me Captain in that southern drawl of yours? Stop it! He doesn't think about you like that! _Jon laid for a while rubbing the bulge and feeling the baby kicking until Trip drifted off to sleep. "Trip? You asleep?" He questioned quietly. The only response was Trip's soft breathing. "I love you." He whispered and gave Trip a soft kiss on his neck before laying his head down and drifted off.

XXX

Trip woke to the feel of Jon's hand spread out on the bulge. "Cap'n? You awake?" He quietly questioned. He heard Jon's soft breathing. "I love you." He whispered.

He pushed himself into Jon, feeling Jon's hardness against his ass and began rubbing. _Oh God! Why do we have to be wearing our boxers? Shit I want to feel your bare cock on me. I could just slip them down a little while he's sleeping. Fuck! Stop it! Oh damnit Jon! Do you know how many times I've jerked off at the thought of you? What the...?_

In his sleep, Jon's hand slid forward, rubbing against Trip's hard cock through his boxers. He slowly woke at the realization of what he was doing. _Oh God! His cock feels so good! Why do we have to be wearing our boxers? I could just slip them down a little while he's sleeping. Oh shit! His ass is rubbing on me! Shit! Is he awake?_ Jon slowly pulled his hand away "Trip? Are you awake?"

_Oh shit! I can't let him know I'm awake! I can't let him know how much I'm enjoying his hand on me. What a minute! He's awake? He knows he's stroking me? Oh shit! Did he hear me saying I love him? _Trip feigned to have been asleep. "Hmm? What?"

Jon gave a wide yawn. "You awake?" His voice sleepy. _He must have been doing it in his sleep. Thank God he doesn't know I was stroking him._

"Mmm. I am now." Trip yawned. _He must have been doing it in his sleep. Thank God he doesn't know I was grinding on him._

They laid together for several minutes in a comfortable silence when Jon's voice broke the stillness. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah...didn't have any more bad dreams." _I dreamt of you. I dreamt of your hands on me. I dreamt of your mouth on mine. I dreamt of tasting your tongue._ "Did you sleep good?"

"Like a rock." _I dreamt of you. I dreamt of kissing every inch of you. I dreamt of fucking you. I dreamt of making you call my name._

_Oh God please massage my back again_. Trip started to sit up when he felt a twinge in his back and shot his hand to the pain. "Oh! That didn't feel good."

"Your back again?" _Oh God please let me massage your back again._

"Yeah. Not used to sleeping on my right side. Guess my muscles don't like it."

Jon shifted himself to make room in the bed. "Lay back down. Let's see what we can do about that"

Trip laid down as Jon began to massage. _Oh damn! You feel so good. You look so delicious first thing in the morning, stubble on your face and your hair a mess. Oh God! Raise your ass to me again._

_Oh God! Your hands feel so good. Your hair a mess. I want to run my hands through that hair and mess it more. Rub your stubble on my back...please_. Trip shifted a little to adjust the pressure of the bulge on his side as Jon's hands slid to the small of his back.

The simultaneous movements caused just the right amount of pressure and manipulation to make a loud crack come from Trip's spine. Jon jerked his hands away as they both laughed. "Damn Trip! Didn't know your back was that screwed up!"

"What can I say? I'm a screwed up kind of guy." _What the hell does that mean?_

_What the hell did he mean by that?_ "Yes...yes you are. Now get the fuck out of my bed." Jon chuckled and gave Trip a playful slap on his ass. _Oh God! You don't know how much I want to spank that ass while slamming you. God damn Jon! Stop it! Will you just stop already! He doesn't think about you like that!_

"Aye Cap'n. I'm gett'n up." _Keep smacking my ass and I'll "get up" alright. Damnit Trip! Stop it! He doesn't think about you like that! He was just joking around. Stop it!_

Trip was crawling out of Jon's bed when the comm channel beeped. "Bridge to Captain Archer." Trip didn't recognize the voice and realized the time. _Must be someone from B-shift._

Jon reached up and pressed the button on his wall comm. "Archer. Go ahead Lieutenant Holtz."

_Damn! Does he know every voice on this ship?_ Trip wondered.

"We found the Xrillians sir. They are about three light years from here. At warp five, we can catch up to them in about two hours."

Trip lifted his head towards the ceiling. "Thank you Lord Jesus! Thank you!"

Holtzes voice came back, slightly confused. "Sir?"

Jon shook his head. "Nothing. Ignore that. Set an intercept course...warp five."

"Warp five? Fuck that!" Trip was slightly irate. "Push every drop outta them engines! I didn't spend all that time with modifications to take it easy now! I know Enterprise can get her fat ass up to 5.3! Just push her for all she's worth!"

"Uh...Commander Tucker? Is that you?" Holtz was very confused now.

"Well it sure as hell ain't Santa Claus!"

"Trip...shut up. Holtz...you heard the man. Push her for all she's worth. Catch those Xrillians. Archer out." He pressed the button to close the channel.

"Finally! Light at the end of the tunnel! Now we can get this thing outta me!" Without thinking, Trip wrapped his arms around Jon. _God it feels good to be in his arms. I want to be in his arms everyday. For the rest of my life. Stop it!_

Trip broke the embrace. "Why didn't any of us think to ask them where their home world is? Are we all that stupid?"

_Damn he feels good in my arms. Stop it! He's just happy we found them. That's all. Shit! He's pulling away! Please don't pull away. Stop it! _"Valid point. You were over there for three days. Why didn't you ask?"

"I was busy working on their engines...after puking my guts up the first day that is."

"You had time to go to some halo-program, stick your hands in some rocks and get yourself knocked up." _Oh damnit! That didn't sound good. I just pissed him off. Damn don't leave mad at me._

_"Get knocked up" is that what he really thinks? She fucking RAPED me! Go to hell Jonathan Archer!_ Trip didn't say anything and gave Jon a cold glare before spinning on his heels and walking out the door.

"FUCK!" Jon yelled out after Trip left.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

They had caught up to the Xrillians, explained the situation and waited until Ah'len and a Xrillian doctor acclimated to Enterprise's atmosphere before coming on board.

"Do you think they'll be able to help the Commander?" Reed asked the Captain.

"I hope so. Let's all keep our fingers crossed for him."

"Lieutenant Holtz said that when he called you to inform you that they found the Xrillians, the Commander was in your quarters. Was he ok? Not sick or anything?"

Jon could hear the concern in Reed's voice. "No. Trip has just been having bad dreams and scared. I let him stay in my quarters so he wouldn't be alone." _I let him stay because I care about him. I let him stay because I love him. I let him stay because I want to fuck his brains out. I let him stay because I want to make his legs so much Jello he won't walk straight for a week! He doesn't think about me that way. But now he might not think about me as a friend. Damnit! I fucked up!_

Trip laid on his bed, lost in his thoughts while waiting for the call to come to sickbay. _He really thinks I did this on purpose? Doesn't he understand I didn't know what she was doing? How could he think that way of me? Doesn't he realize I love him? Doesn't he know how much I want him to fuck the hell out of me? No...of course he doesn't know because you're too much a coward to tell him. He doesn't think about me that way, and if all I can have is his friendship, I'd rather have that than nothing at all. Damnit! I fucked up!_

XXX

He got the call he had been waiting for and was sitting on a bio bed while the Xrillian doctor preformed his exam. The entire time, Trip sat glaring at Ah'len when Archer came into sickbay, Trip's glare softened slightly.

"This is incredible! I didn't think that this could happen with your species." Ah'len committed as she looked at Trip's bulge.

Trip's glare hardened again and he couldn't control his outrage. "Incredible? You think this is a good thing? On my planet, we have a word for what you did and people go to prison for it!"

"Trip." Jon called softly. "I'm sure she didn't know what was happening. Just as you didn't know. Now isn't the time for this." _Please Trip, know that I'm not taking sides or blaming you. I'm just trying to stay diplomatic and keep the situation calm_.

_He's taking her side? Seriously?_ "She needs to take responsibility for what she did to me!" Trip's hard voice raised a little and his blood was becoming hot.

Ah'len dropped her gaze downward. "There will be consequences, I can assure you of that. I didn't convey properly the meaning of our actions and I'm sorry for that. On my world, it's understood that when two people who are attracted to each other, they will want to share their thoughts to complete the intimacy. I should have explained that to you better."

"You said it was a game! You didn't say anything about intimacy or attraction."

"You felt my attraction as I felt yours?"

Jon's brows shot up so hard and fast he thought they might fly off of his head. _He is attracted to her? He wanted to be closer to her? He wanted something with her? No Trip! I...I, Jonathan Archer...want that with you! Why can't you see that?_ "You think my chief engineer was attracted to you? He was only there to help you fix your engines then leaving. That's all, nothing more. _Right Trip? Please say I'm right._

Trip shifted uncomfortably. "Ok...maybe there was a slight attraction. I mean...you took care of me when I was sick and we worked closely together...but that doesn't mean I was gonna sleep with you." _I wanted to hurry up and finish those repairs to get back here. Why do you think I called Jon so much? I missed him. I wanted to be near him. Even though he doesn't think the same of me._

_Shit! He WAS attracted to her. He called me so much...I thought it was because he missed me. I guess it was just because he wasn't feeling well and needed a familiar voice. He doesn't think the same of me._ He turned his attention to the doctor. "Are you able to remove the baby?"

"Not at this point. It is too far into development for it to be removed and transplanted into another host. I'm sorry Commander, but you will have to carry it to term. After that, we will be able to take it back with us."

Trip's concerns started to rise again and new concerns crept into his mind. "Will it be safe for the baby to live in your environment? I mean it is half human after all."

"No Commander, It's not half human. Among our species the male is simply the host to carry the embryo and doesn't contribute any of his DNA to the child. It is only the female DNA that is contributed. As long as we get the baby into our environment within the hour after birth, it will be safe."

"Yeah...after birth. And that's another thing...how the hell does that happen exactly? Human males aren't made for that."

"Yes. I already see a problem with that. By this stage, in an Xrillian male, a pouch would form for the baby to exit from when the time comes. You haven't developed that pouch. Not to worry though, there have been cases where a pouch didn't develop and we just simply make a small incision for the baby to exit."

"And when will that be? Please don't say nine months."

"Nine months? Why would you think such a long time?" The doctor looked slightly horrified.

Jon shook his head. "For our species, well first, it's the female that carries the baby and gives birth. The gestation period is nine months."

"The female is host to your offspring? No wonder this is such an uncomfortable situation for you, Commander. No, our gestation period is much shorter, only three months. I estimate that the baby will be delivered in the next few weeks. If it is acceptable to you, Captain, I should remain here to monitor your Commander and be ready to assist in the birthing process and ready to take the baby back to our ship. It won't need to go through the acclamation process if it's done quickly enough."

"Will you be ok in our atmosphere for that long?" Jon was concerned for the doctor's health and safety

"Yes. I brought a supply of medication to help me remain stabilized in your environment."

"In that case, I guess it will be a good idea for you to stay. I'll look into having quarters set up for you and you can talk to our chef about any dietary needs you have. We may not be able to replicate your foods exactly, but I'm sure chef can figure something out."

"That is very generous of you, Captain. Thank you."

"And what about Ah'len? Does she have to stay here too?" Trip was still reeling at her for being less than forthcoming about this "game". His voice came out harsh, even to his own ears but at this point he really didn't care about hurting her feelings. _Do you know what you've done? You fucked up my friendship with the man I secretly love. He thinks I wanted this. He thinks I wanted you. He doesn't understand that you, for all intense purposes, forced yourself on me._

_I hope she can go back to her ship. You forced yourself on the man I secretly love. You screwed up our friendship. You screwed up any chance that maybe someday I might get the balls to tell him how I feel. I want to wring your neck for that! Shit! Time to be the diplomat_. "Trip...that's enough, it was all a misunderstanding. Ah'len, maybe it's best you go back to your ship. You will have your baby as soon as it's born. _Get the fuck off my ship you molesting bitch!_

_Misunderstanding? Are you serious? Look at me Jon! I'm fucking pregnant and have to give birth to this thing! Misunderstanding is what you call this? She wrecked what we had. Ok, maybe you don't feel the same way about me, but maybe someday I might have grown a set to tell you how I feel. Now that will never happen. Shit! Time to put on that Starfleet diplomacy._ "Sorry, sir. Ah'len, I'm sorry for speaking to you like that, it was uncalled for. I realize you didn't intend for this to happen and I guess it was kinda my fault too. I should have asked more questions before sticking my hands in those rocks."

"No Commander. It is I that needs to apologize. I should have explained better that this was an intimate act and that I was interested in you on a sexual level. I truly do feel ashamed for my actions in this matter. As your Captain said, it's best that I go back to my ship."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The rest of the day passed, then the night and the following day. Jon hadn't heard a peep out of Trip and he had to make this right...somehow. _Shit! He hates me now! He probably thinks I'm taking her side. I'm NOT! And what I said in my quarters...that didn't come out right. I didn't mean to hurt his feelings. I didn't mean to sound like I was blaming him, that it was his fault. He didn't know what he was doing...what SHE was doing to him. Shit I just want to talk to him again, see him again, touch____him again. I just want to...STOP IT! He doesn't think about you like that! Get that through your stupid thick head!_ Jon reached out and pressed the door chime.

"Come in." Trip's voice came through with a sound Jon knew all too well. _He's shoving food in his face._

Jon walked into the room and sure enough, Trip was sitting on his bed, legs folded in front of him with a huge plate of pasta. "You know...lately every time I see you, you're either sleeping or eating. Pasta again?"

"Yeah...I don't know. Lately I just can't seem to get enough of pasta. Chef said if I order pasta one more time, he's gonna stick me in a giant vat of spaghetti and let me eat my way out."

Jon chuckled. "Well...better than pickles and ice cream I guess." _Maybe he's calmed down enough now. Yeah...this will be a good time to talk to him. _Jon sat on the bed next to Trip. "Trip, I'm-"

Trip waited until Jon sat down to speak. "Cap'n, I didn't-"

They chuckled about the fact that they had started speaking at the same time. Trip tilted his head to the side. "Go ahead, Cap'n. You first."

_Oh God! Call me Captain in that twang of yours and I'm going to lose it! _"Trip, what I said in my quarters yesterday, it didn't come out right. I'm sorry I upset you. Please forgive me." _Oh God please forgive me. I'll never have you as a lover, but I won't live without you as a friend._

Trip shrugged a shoulder in a way that Jon knew he was blowing off a situation. "I guess it's these pregnancy hormones, I lose my temper too fast these days...well, faster than usual. I just kinda feel like you're taking her side though. _Please don't fuck this up. I'll never have you as my lover, but I don't want to lose you as a friend._

"I'm not taking her side, Trip. I understand what she did to you, and it was wrong...very wrong. As Captain, I have to stay impartial to this situation, for diplomacy sake. I know it sucks and I hope you can understand that."

"I understand, Cap'n. Friends?" _Oh God how I want to be more than friends! I want to be wrapped in your arms, make love with you, and have a life with you. Maybe it's just these hormones bringing all this out, but there's a piece of my heart there too._

Jon smiled at him. "Friends." _Oh God I want to be more than friends. Would you shy away if I hugged you right now? I just want to have you in my arms, even for a moment, but dream of a day when it's a lifetime._ Jon leaned in and gave Trip a hug, overjoyed when Trip tightened his grip and stayed in the embrace a little longer than usual.

"You didn't call me last night. The bad dreams stop now that you know how they're getting this baby out of you?" _I wanted you there, but glad you wasn't. I can still smell you on my pillow and spent half the night jerking off at the thought of you. If you had been there...DAMNIT JON! Last time STOP THAT!_

"I didn't want to bother you, but yeah...I still didn't sleep well." _Not because of bad dreams, because I dreamt of you kissing and touching me. I spent half the night jerking off at the thought of you. Fuck Trip! These pregnancy hormones got you all twisted up! STOP THAT!_

"If you're still having bad dreams, you should have called me. Doesn't matter that we were fighting, you know I still would have been here for you." _All you have to do is snap your fingers and I'll come running._ "Want me to stay tonight? Scare away the bad dreams?" _I'd scare away any monster for you._

_No monsters under my bed any more, but God yes I want you to stay!_ "That would be nice. Got your phase pistol with you to scare them off?"

Jon chuckled. "No. I'll just have to beat their asses to the ground with my bare hands."

"You know...I believe you really could."

_Of course I could, Trip. I'll protect you with my own life._ "You want to watch a game for a while before bed?"

"I know it's early, but I'm kinda tired. If it's the same to you..." _I just want to strip down to my boxers...less if you'd let me...and feel your body on mine._

_Good. I didn't want to watch a game anyway. I just want to strip naked and have you in my arms._ "Yeah, I understand. I've had a long day myself and pretty tired too."

Once in bed and snuggled up, Jon ran his hand across Trip's bulge. "I'm sorry. I didn't even ask." He started to pull his hand away.

Trip grabbed his hand and placed it back on the bulge. "It's ok. I don't mind. You can touch it." _It's so soothing when you touch it...not like the others that annoy me._

"Do they know a...um...due date yet?"

"Not really. A few days, a week or two. The Xrillian doctor said that the baby is developing a little faster than normal, but it's healthy. He wants to monitor me and take vitals every day."

"Do you want me to go with you?" _God! Did that just sound like an expecting father?_

_Oh he'd make such a good husband and father. Staying with me through all this. Oh geez! He didn't mean it like that! Just as a friend._ "You don't have to...unless you want to."

_Hell yes I want to! I want to be there for you through the whole thing! Damnit! He just needs a friend right now._ "I don't mind. You shouldn't have to go through this alone. What are friends for? Do you know if it's a boy or girl?"

_Yep. There it is. 'What are friends for' that's all he thinks of you Trip...friends...nothing else._ "No. I told them I wanted it to be a surprise. You know how much I love surprises." _And damn would I have a big surprise for you if you could read my mind._

"Yeah...I know you love your surprises." _And you'd be surprised at what goes through my mind about you._ "Would you like a massage?" _Say yes! Say yes! I want my hands on you._

_Yes! Yes! Yes! Please put those wonderful hands on me._ Trip didn't say anything as he rolled onto his stomach.

XXX

Jon spent the following week going with Trip for his exams and allowing him to sleepover in his quarters to keep the bad dreams away. It felt comfortable to him...right...so very right to have the chance to hold him, touch him, take in his scent...even though he knew the other man didn't know how he truly felt and viewed it as Jon simply being the good friend he needed at the moment.

Trip woke in the middle of the night screaming. _Oh shit! What is this? Oh my God!_

Jon bolted up. "Trip? Another bad dream?"

"_NO_!" He was breathing hard as another scream came from him. "Oh God Jon! I-I think it's time!"

"Oh shit! Are you sure? Fuck!" Jon scrambled out of bed helping Trip up. "Oh fuck! What do I do?"

_Calm down daddy. Damn you're so sexy when you're frazzled. Seriously Trip? You're having those thoughts when you're in labor?_ "Call Phlox. Tell him we're on our way to sickbay." He stated calmly.

"Yeah...yeah...Phlox...sickbay." _Shit Trip! How are you so calm right now? Two and a half months you've been a mess and now you chose to be calm? Damn you're sexy when you take charge. Seriously Jon? Now?_

Jon kept a tight arm around Trip's waist as he led him to sickbay. "Breathe. Just breathe. We'll be there in a minute." _Oh honey...we'll have our baby any moment. What the fuck? _OUR_ baby? You're losing it Jonny boy! Get a grip._ "That's it. Keep breathing. You're doing fine. Almost there."

Before he knew it, Trip was laying on a bio bed as Phlox and the Xrillian doctor hovered over him. Jon above his head, holding his hand as another wave of pain came on him. In instinct, he pulled his legs up, knees bent, towards his chest as he squeeze Jon's hand. He could feel Jon's breath across his ear as he softly whispered. "Breathe Trip. Just breathe. You're doing good." The breath sent shivers down him and he found a strange comfort in the shivers.

He became aware of another sensation, more forceful and demanding. Phlox was pulling his legs back down. "Mr. Tucker! I know it's difficult, but you need to keep your legs straight so the doctor can make the incision."

"_What_! Ain't you gonna give me something to numb the area before you start cutting on me?"

"I'm sorry, Commander. Any numbing agent could hurt the baby. I'll make this as fast and painless as possible. Hold him down, doctor." The Xrillian doctor's voice was strong and demanding.

Trip felt the weight of Phlox on his legs. _Damn he's strong for a meek, mild, little guy._ "Oh fuck Jon! You can't let them- AHHHH!"

Jon watch wide-eyed as the doctor made the quick cut to Trip's side just below the bulge, oblivious to the amount of pressure Trip was squeezing his hand with. "Shh...it's over Trip. It's over." His lips brushed against Trip's temple as he spoke. _Oh God you don't know how much I want to kiss you right now. How much I want to shower you with all my love. You're so beautiful right now, like this, giving birth to our...stop! Not ours!_

Another wave of pain came across him. "No it's not over! Oh God get this thing out of me!" _Oh God Jon! Hold me tight. Never let go._

The Xrillian doctor stood back as if waiting. Jon looked at him confused. "What's wrong? Why aren't you taking it out of him?"

"I can't do that. The baby has to detach and come out on its own."

"How long will that take?"

"As long as it takes."

Another wave of pain and another squeeze to Jon's hand. Suddenly he became acutely aware of his hand throbbing. "Trip. You're hurting me." As soon as Trip softened his grip, Jon pulled his hand away then quickly replaced it with the other.

Phlox ran a quick scan over Jon's hand. "It's not broken, Captain. Just some deep bruising."

Almost two hours as wave after wave of pain came across Trip as scream after agonizing scream escaped from him. Curse after curse filled the air while Jon held his hand the entire time, wiping cool clothes on his face and chest, reminding him to breathe and softly cooing words of how well he was doing into his ear. The Xrillian doctor had instructed Jon to rub at Trip's bulge to encourage the baby's movement outward. Trip was becoming exhausted. "Cap'n...I don't think I can do this anymore." His voice weak and shaky.

"Yes you can. You're doing great. It's almost over. You can do this." _God you're so beautiful in my arms all sweaty and panting. Shit Jon! Not now!_

_Hold me Jon! Hold me tight. You're so beautiful holding me like this. Shit Trip! Not now!_ Another wave of pain and muscles contracting as he heard Jon cry out in joyful excitement.

"I see it Trip! It's coming. It's...it's out! Oh God Trip! It's beautiful." _You're beautiful. Sheen of dewy sweat, bright glow. God Trip...I want to tell you how beautiful you are right now. I'll burn this image into my memory forever. I love you._

Trip looked up and saw a tear trail down Jon's beaming face. _God he looks so happy, like a proud father. I know it's just the natural reflex of this emotional drama, but still...you're so beautiful right now. I'll burn this image into my memory forever. I love you._ "Wha-what is it?" He asked the doctor, voice raspy from all the screaming.

"It's a girl." Trip stretched out his arms towards the little bundle taking her and cradled her close to his chest.

Jon wrapped an arm around his shoulders, looking down at the little baby. He didn't see the alien of her, just this beautiful little girl in the arms of the man he loved. _Our beautiful little girl._ "She's beautiful, Trip. You did a good job." He whispered.

Without warning, the Xrillian doctor took the baby from Trip's arms and started to walk out the room. "No! What are you doing? Where are you taking her? No! Let me hold her! _Please_!" Trip broke down into sobs watching the doctor leaving with the baby. _Oh God! They're taking her from us! They're taking our baby! Jon stop them! Don't let them take our girl!_

Jon tightened his hold on Trip. "Shh. I know. We knew this was going to happen. She's not our baby sw-. They have to get her back to her people, her environment as quickly as possible. They'll take good care of her." _Oh shit! I almost slipped. I almost called him sweetheart. I didn't catch myself in time from saying _OUR_ baby though. Maybe he missed it. Oh God Trip! My heart is breaking too. They're taking _OUR _baby._

_He said_ OUR_ baby! No...that can't be what he means. Just meant that she's Xrillian, not human. That must have been what he meant. Oh God how much I want this to be ours. Yours and mine...not theirs._ He laid back in Jon's arms sobbing until the exhaustion took him and fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The baby was transferred to the Xrillian ship. The report came that she instantly acclimated to the environment, healthy and doing well.

Ah'len would lose her position with the Xrillian Interstellar Committee as repercussion for her involvement of causing trouble and possible risks to an alien race. Her family had shunned her in outrage of her actions of being less than truthful in explaining to the human man the significance of her intentions. Life would become difficult for her, and unbeknownst to Trip, she decided to allow a family member raise the child as their own to give the little girl a better life than she would be able to provide.

The Xrillian doctor and Phlox were walking to the airlock where the doctor would spend the next few hours re-acclimating to his own environment. "It's so strange to me that it's the females that hosts the baby, and both male and female genetics are contributed."

"There are many differences among the various species in the galaxy, as well as similarities. Your people should consider joining the Inner-species Medical Exchange. You could learn a lot about other worlds, and allow others to learn about yours. Hmmm?"

"I will make that proposal to my superiors, but as you know, Xrillians are a very reclusive race. I suppose if we're going to be out here, however, we will have to learn to shed ourselves of that and become more outgoing."

"I hope your people will. We can learn a lot from one another with openness and honesty. Keeping to yourselves and private, you will never know the possibilities available to you."

The Xrillian doctor chuckled. "And the interaction between your Captain and Commander?"

"Ah! You noticed that did you? Yes. They are very good friends. They each love one another, but both are too afraid to let the other know how they feel. Like I said, without openness and honesty, you never know the possibilities. A shame we don't have something like your rocks so they could see the other's thoughts...err...without the consequence of a pregnancy of course."

"Yes. Very unfortunate...for them. They seem that they could be happy together. Perhaps someday they will open up."

"I hope so. Humans have an old saying. 'Penny for your thoughts' shame Earth no longer has pennies. Well, good journeys doctor, and I hope to see you at the IME someday."

XXX

Phlox had released Trip from sickbay and he was now laying in his own bed, rubbing at his side. He missed the bulge, the feeling of the baby moving under him but most of all, he missed Jon. The bed was cold, empty and lonely.

He swung his feet to the floor and walking down the hall before he had time to think. _What are you doing? Where are you going? God I miss him. I just want to be in his arms right now. It was just the hormones making me think that way...wasn't it? If I'm being honest with myself, I've always been curious. God I miss his arms around me. I miss his warmth and the fell of him next to me. No, it's not curiosity any more. I want to BE with him. I want to feel his kisses, feel his love. I want him in every way. It's really how I truly feel about him. I really do love him. I really do want to be with him. I should just tell him. Open up and come clean to my feelings._

He stood in front of Jon's door for a moment still debating with himself. _He's going to ask why I'm here. I don't have any real excuse other than I want to be here. God! If I tell him...he'll freak out. He'll never speak to me again. Probably have me transferred off the ship. I'd rather have him as a friend than not in my life at all. Guess I'll just go back to my room and jerk off for a while._

Trip walked into his room and saw something odd laying on his pillow. He picked it up and studied it for a moment. _Hey. I remember seeing pictures of this in my history books in school. It's an old Earth currency...a penny. How did this get here? It wasn't here when I left. What could it mean?_

He racked his brain trying to think its meaning, thinking of old sayings about pennies. _In for a penny, in for a pound? Not a penny to my name? Hmm...guess I'll never know. Oh well._

He tossed the penny on his desk, stripped naked and quickly climbed into bed, accessing one of his fantasies about Jon while grabbing a tube of lotion from his bedside drawer.

Jon laid in his bed taking in the lingering scent of Trip on the pillow. He missed having Trip in his arms, giving him back massages and rubbing his hand on the bulge. The bed was cold, empty and lonely.

He swung his feet to the floor and was walking down the hall before he had time to think. _What am I doing? What am I going to say when I get there? Checking to see how he's doing...yeah, that's a good excuse. Except I checked with him two hours ago. Maybe it was just him being...in that condition that made me think that way. No. No, I've felt this way since the day I laid eyes on him. Always made excuses to be with him. Teach me to scuba dive. I'll teach you water polo. Let's go rock climbing. Hell, I even worked it out for him to be in my training group on Neptune. Maybe I should just tell him how I really feel. No. He'll flip out on me. Probably ask for a transfer and never speak to me again. I guess I'd rather have him as a friend than lose him forever. Shit. Guess I'll go back to my room and jerk off for a while._

He walked away from Trip's door and went back to his quarters. He looked over and saw something on his pillow, picking it up and studying it for a moment. _My grandpa had a couple of these in his coin collection. A penny. How did this get here?_

He thought for a moment about some of the Earth sayings. _I'll give you my last penny? Penny for luck? Penny for your thoughts? Thoughts? Whose thoughts? My thoughts? Who would send this kind of message? Trip? Trip? Trip._

XXX

Alone in sickbay, Phlox was feeding his pyrithian bat, talking to it. "You know, the easy part was finding a file in the ship's database of a penny and replicating them. The hard part was getting into their rooms to leave it. Well...the seeds have been sown. Shall we see what grows? Hmmm?"

**END**


End file.
